


Wishing It Was You

by ReturnToZero



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, BRIEF MASTURBATION SCENE, CH 2 tags, F/M, Fluff, French Kissing, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I love making Shuichi an idiot, Internalized Homophobia, Kokichi being Kokichi, Kokichi is baffled, Kokichi is still a homie, Like regular kisses, Lots of types of kissing, M/M, Misunderstandings, Ouma is a moron, Ouma is an idiot, Ouma takes his sweet time getting to the point, Ouma/moron equals Oumoron, Oumoron, Please Send Help, Please use Sumb and Oumoron in future fics, Practice Kissing, Shuichi being sad, Shuichi can be smooth though, Shuichi is a dork, Shuichi is a dumbass, Shuichi/Dumb equals SUMB, Sumb, This is one of my longest drabbles, VERY BRIEF BUT I THOUGHT I WOULD TAG IT, When he needs to be I guess, also ch2 is mostly in his POV, courtesy of the SaiOuma Pit, emotional rollercoaster???, everyone keeps saying emotional rollercoaster, idk - Freeform, probably more misunderstandings to come, so I guess I should add that as a tag, so much fluff i wanna DIE, some kisses that involve bites, the works, ya know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-03-12 19:59:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13554522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReturnToZero/pseuds/ReturnToZero
Summary: Kokichi offers to teach Shuichi how to kiss. It goes as well as you think it would.***You put both your arms around meSaid you're glad you found meBut only as a friend





	1. Practice Makes Perfect!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [megastarstrike](https://archiveofourown.org/users/megastarstrike/gifts).



> Oh goodness, I can't even tell you how long I have had this damned thing in my WIPs folder. Here's half of it though since I am tired of looking at it.
> 
> Special thanks to [megastarstrike](https://archiveofourown.org/users/megastarstrike/pseuds/megastarstrike) for betaing this, she is awesome and please go check out [Meta](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13353003/chapters/30574095) if you want your Fridays to be lit.
> 
> Also this fic is totally inspired by the song _Wishing It Was You by K.Flay_

Kokichi hates that his curiosity has gotten the better of him.

 

Shuichi’s a blushing mess now, trying to squirm away from him, and covering his face with his hands. (Ouma thinks it’s useless anyway, he’s blushing so hard that even his knuckles are flushed.) He sort of hates that he now knows that Shuichi has a crush on some girl he’s never even seen. But hey, that’s what sleepovers are for! To stay up late and share secrets! (And maybe torture yourself by pining for the person sleeping just a few feet away. Sure, he wasn’t so confident about that last one, but he only speaks from experience.)

 

He had a feeling that the detective might have been crushing on someone, but he was certain it was for someone in their class, not some nobody neighbor that goes to public school.

 

Kokichi hides his sneer under a blanket of his usual teasing, “Ooooh, you gonna man up and ask her out?”

 

“I can’t ask her out! I’ve never had a relationship before…” Shuichi pouts. “I haven’t even had my first kiss.”

 

Kokichi raises an eyebrow at him. “Not even a kiss? I knew you were totes a virgin but I didn’t think you had virgin lips too.”

 

Shuichi flushes adorably, and Kokichi can’t help but think maybe he could fix that. It’s an awful _thought_ that easily unravels into an awful _plan_.

 

His mouth speaks faster than his conscious can talk him out of it, “Yeesh, you are never gonna get a date if you can’t even kiss. You how nasty girls can be, dumping even the most popular and attractive guys if they can’t kiss well.”

 

Shuichi crumples from his statement. “R-Really?”

 

Kokichi looks at his nails, picking them even though they are clean, “Yup!” he says, making sure to pop the p at the end.

 

“So I really am doomed, huh?” Shuichi looks about ready to admit defeat.

 

Shuichi has totally taken the bait, as expected so this was the deciding moment for Kokichi.  

 

The petite boy begins his _awful plan_ , “Now I didn’t say that. Look-”

 

Kokichi sighs, making it a show like he’s doing something tremendous for Shuichi (when really he’s doing it for himself), “I’ve kissed a few people before. I’ve even had a friend in the past teach me how to, so I sympathize with you Shuichi.”

 

He finally makes eye contact with Shuichi, offering him a small smile. “How about I teach you? Practice makes perfect after all.”

 

Shuichi nearly explodes on the spot, “Wha?! K-K-Kokichi! That-That’s-!!!”

 

“What? You don’t want my help?” He rolls his eyes. “Fine. Be a little virgin and never get any girl you like. They’ll all laugh at you once they find out you haven’t even kissed anyone.”

 

Shuichi wrings his shirt, biting his lip before apologizing, “Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. I just… Wouldn’t it be weird?”

 

Kokichi shakes his head. “It’s just practice Shuichi. It’s not like if we kiss we suddenly have to get married. Actors do it all the time for soap operas and romcoms anyways.”

 

Shuichi seems to calm down after that, “Oh. I didn’t think about that… I guess you’re right.”

 

They stare at each other for a moment, and it gets a bit awkward. Kokichi waves his hands, _come on_ , and Shuichi realizes he has to answer-

 

“I… I guess it should be okay, as long as it’s fine with you,” he meekly replies, his hopeful eyes just barely visible in the dark room.

 

“I already said it was fine.” Kokichi holds his chin, trying to see how long he can reasonably drag Shuichi along. “You’re pretty quick at picking stuff up, so I think in two or three weeks you’ll be a pro.”

 

Shuichi nods and sits up. “So… Should we start now?”

 

Kokichi giggles, “Wow, such an eager beaver! I didn’t know you were so desperate!”

 

Shuichi takes a moment to cover his face, reacting immediately, “I mean! If it’s okay with you!” He starts twiddling his thumbs, avoiding eye contact. “I just thought that now would be ideal, since we’re alone in your room.”

 

Kokichi sends him a teasing smile, a playful lilt in his voice, “So dirty! I bet if you said that to a girl she’d think you were a thirsty fuckboy!”

 

He motions for Shuichi to come sit on his bed, trying to calm his racing heart. He’s glad that it is late and they had turned off the lights a few hours ago. It would have been awkward to explain to Shuichi why he was starting to get color in his cheeks.

 

Shuichi comes and tries to get comfortable, facing him and hugging a pillow in his lap. Kokichi moves a bit closer and sighs-

 

“It’s late so we can’t practice for long. We can just focus on getting through the awkwardness for now and give you at least a feeling for kissing, okay?”

 

Shuichi nods and takes a deep breath. “Yeah. I’m ready whenever you are.”

 

Kokichi nods, trying to take his time. He doesn’t want to seem too eager. “So here’s a tip, try to angle your faces so your noses don’t bump. It’s ok if it doesn't work 100 percent of the time, but it definitely is important to think about when you kiss them the first time.”

 

Shuichi takes a deep breath, “Does it matter which way?”

 

“Not really, but if you get stuck, just follow your partner and see which way they’re tilting or if they’re even tilting at all. Here, let me.”

 

Kokichi leans just a little more, Shuichi snaps his eyes shut and stays still, and the smaller boy decides it is best to explain then-

 

He tilts to the right and gives him a light kiss, pulling away just enough to speak, “I can go right-” he switches sides quickly and punctuates with another ginger kiss- “Or I can tilt left if you stay still.”

 

He pulls back, and the poor boy looks like he’s going to suffocate.

 

“You know I stopped, right?”

 

Shuichi opens his eyes, looking like an absolute wreck. Kokichi tries to stifle his laughter at how cute he is. He’s well aware of Shuichi’s self-confidence issues and doesn’t want to puncture his already sensitive and oh-so-tiny ego, but it’s so hard to not laugh at the precious boy before him. Shuichi takes a few deep breaths, “That’s it?”

 

“Well, those were just little pecks. Not real kisses, or even remotely anything like in the movies.”

 

“Oh.” Shuichi is deflating faster than any popped balloon he’s seen.

 

Kokichi sighs. Shuichi was really too adorable, all flustered and wanting validation. “You really need to relax. If you’re too stiff it’s not going to be good.”

 

“Ah, I’m sorry-”

 

Kokichi waves his hand. “Don’t worry, it only makes you more tense. Just relax a bit more, kisses aren’t do or die.”

 

Shuichi sighs, “I know. I just want to make a good impression.”

 

“And once I’m done with you, you will be able to seduce any girl you want. But we have to build up to that, ok?” he tries to comfort the detective.

 

Shuichi nods and they sit in the dark for a minute. Kokichi ponders if he should just end the little lesson now and let them go to sleep or-

 

“Can...Can I try this time?” Shuichi whispers so quietly that Kokichi almost misses it, the shy boy clutching the pillow tight to his chest.

 

Kokichi blinks, barely able to properly form words, “Uh....Yeah...I mean, if you want to it’s fine.”

 

Shuichi nods, “Okay,” he musters up the courage to continue, his voice still soft and airy, “Just...stay still.”

 

Kokichi follows the directions, closing his eyes and simply waiting for Shuichi. In the darkness, he’s suddenly more aware of everything else-

 

Like how the bed begins to dip as Shuichi leans forward. He feels the cushion pressing up against his arm, and how Shuichi’s warm breath is just close enough to brush his lips. He waits and tries to calm his bursting heart-

 

Shuichi finally kisses him, so soft and sweet that it makes him ache. He can feel his breath roll over his lips again, and their noses brush when Shuichi tilts his face to the other side-

 

“Sorry...” he whispers against his lips, nearly causing Kokichi to shudder.

 

The next kiss is much more relaxed and even has a gentle push behind it. It’s so utterly sweet and pure that Kokichi is mad that it isn’t his first. Shuichi seems to have a knack for kissing, as he’s filling this one with all the stupid shit you read about in romance novels and girly fanfiction.

 

Shuichi pulls away, his breath a bit heavy and Kokichi keeps his eyes open for just a little longer, savoring the moment-

 

“So...how was I?” Shuichi squeaks, and Kokichi can already imagine his skittish body language.

 

He opens his eyes and is honestly surprised that Shuichi definitely looks better than he did a minute ago. The pillow isn’t in his lap anymore, he’s left it between them in such a way that it brushes Kokichi’s knee. He’s sitting upright and staring him dead on, waiting for a response.

 

“Awful.” he lies.

 

Shuichi groans and nearly tosses himself off the bed. ”I’m doooooooomed.”

 

Kokichi laughs at Shuichi being melodramatic. If he’s acting like this, then it is much too late to be practicing.

 

“Okay okay, it wasn’t _that_ awful. Could use some work though. And that’s just a basic peck, so you’ve still got lots of studying to do.”

 

Shuichi slides off the bed, slowly so that he doesn’t make any noise or hit the floor hard, “I’m doomed.”

 

“Get some sleep Shuichi.” Kokichi ducks under the covers, hiding completely under the blankets and trying to ignore the loud thumping of his heart in his chest.

 

***

 

They decide that having a private space is best for their practice, so by default Kokichi’s room is where they meet up if they are due for more practice.

 

It’s been a sweet, sweet hell for Kokichi, who’s only growing more and more enamored with Shuichi. Now that he’s tasted the boy he knows he won't be satisfied with anyone else. Still, he looks forward to every time Shuichi taps him on the shoulder at school and says that he wants to come over after school.

 

Kokichi drags Shuichi straight to his room, already knowing his parents aren’t going to be home.

 

They quickly drop the stuff onto the floor and get ready to make out.

 

Lately, Kokichi has been letting Shuichi experiment and take the lead, since he seems to do better by simply going through the motions himself.

 

Shuichi dives in for a kiss, sweet and with just the right amount of pressure. Kokichi allows himself to be swept into the feeling of it, of how Shuichi is slowly becoming more confident in how to move his lips and how much pressure he should put into it. He’s catching on quick, already figuring out where to cup his face or how to wrap his arm around to close the distance.

 

Kokichi nearly moans as Shuichi manages to snake a hand behind his head, twining into his hair and cradling the nape of his neck. He’s moving and keeping the pace smooth but fun.

 

Kokichi is having so much fun he decides to throw him a curveball-

 

He parts his lips just enough to gently bring Shuichi’s bottom lip into his mouth, lightly grazing it with his teeth and sucking. The reaction is immediate, with Shuichi gasping and pulling away-

 

He’s feeling spicy and he makes sure to hold on even as the taller boy pulls away, catching Shuichi’s lip just long enough to make an impact (and leave a hint of pain). Shuichi stares at him in shock-

 

“I think you’re ready to start learning some more advanced stuff." he says cooly, even though internally his heart is fluttering and twisting that it feels like he’s dying.

 

Shuichi is still reeling from the kiss. “Yeah...that thing you did, I want to know how to do that.”

 

Kokichi giggles, “Oooh, you liked that one? It’ll take some practice to pull off and it’s easy to fuck up. You sure you wanna know?”

 

Shuichi nods eagerly, a little bit of awe seeping into his voice, “Yes.”

 

“Well you start off like normal, and when you want to turn up the heat, gently take their lower lip into your mouth. You can use your teeth to nibble a bit on it, or just suck so they can feel some pressure on it.”

 

Shuichi is super focused on his words, even staring at his mouth adamantly as he tries to jot everything mentally.

 

Kokichi continues to lecture him, “Just be careful not to bite too hard, some people are turned off by that. Others, need it to get off. It really just depends on the person.”

 

Shuichi takes a deep breath before going into his adorable shy mode, “Can I?”

 

Kokichi laughs, “Sure. Just work me up to it, yeah?”

 

Shuichi is confident in the beginning, doing his usual adorable kisses before his lips quiver and Kokichi can tell he’s working up the courage to try something new. He aligns their lips so it’s easier for Shuichi to start off-

 

He manages to take the hint and easily captures the ultimate leader’s bottom lip, scraping his teeth gently across the soft flesh. He begins to suck lightly as well, and Kokichi can’t stop the sigh that escapes his mouth. Shuichi begins to retreat, sinking in his teeth just a bit so he can pull his lip before finally letting it go.

 

Kokichi opens his eyes once he feels his lip freed and he’s a little embarrassed how starry-eyed he feels. He can’t help but bite his lip, even though it just finished being abused he loves the teasing pain from it. Once he comes back to his senses he looks over at Shuichi.

 

Shuichi is still entranced but proud. His eyes are glued to his lower lip. They eyes suddenly meet and Shuichi blushes-

 

“Sorry. I hope I wasn’t too rough. Your lip looks a bit irritated.” Shuichi laments. Seeing him apologize only makes Kokichi’s heart swell.

 

“It’s nothing. Again, only use that when you already know them a bit, and have a feel for what they like.”

 

They decide to take a break, to eat some food and try to get some homework done. Kokichi is glad that even though they’ve started these practice sessions, their friendship is still exactly the same. He was worried that Shuichi was going to overthink it and it would make it awkward for them to hang out regularly.

 

Then again it hurts him too since it reiterates that Shuichi doesn’t have romantic feelings for him. Because he can kiss him without it changing anything. To Shuichi, he’s probably just a strange friend, someone he’s comfortable with to kiss for practice but nothing past that.

 

Overall though he’s glad to have had this chance. Even though it is selfish he does feel like he’s sort of helping Shuichi. The detective has become more confident in himself, and it shows in his everyday life.

 

“Shuuuu-iiiiii-chi! I’m booored!” he whines, not wanting to think anymore.

 

Shuichi is staring down at his paper, deep in thought, “Hold on… I’ve almost got it.”

 

Kokichi pouts but stays quiet, Shuichi is much too scary when he tries to bother him while he’s in focus mode. Shuichi finishes and all the tension from his body leaves in one big exhale.

 

“All done. If you want we could watch a show or something.”

 

Kokichi frowns, “Hey, when were you gonna ask the pleb out?”

 

Shuichi scratches the back of his head, “I dunno. I still don’t feel ready yet.”

 

“Sooner would be better though, right?” He’s already craving more kisses, wants to be able to take advantage of this situation fully.

 

Shuichi sweats but agrees, “Right. I just… I don't want to do something stupid and mess it up. Especially when it’s an easily avoidable mistake.”

 

Kokichi nods, “Yeah, don’t be a dog and just shove your tongue in her mouth. I was actually going to ask you if you might want to try french kissing?”

 

Shuichi frowns, “That’s the one I am most scared of.”

 

“It’s alright. Not really my thing to be honest, but it definitely does help to have someone who knows what they are doing.”

 

Shuichi is the one to start scooting closer and he suddenly stops when he manages to get a glance at his homework, “Kokichi! You still have half of the problems to fill out.”

 

Kokichi realizes what he’s referring to and groans, “I’ll copy them off of you later, please and thank you.”

 

Shuichi begins to frown, “We have time to do them now though. I hate it when you wake me up early just so you can copy them.”

 

Kokichi whines, “I’ll copy them before bed then! It’s more important right now that we go over french kissing!”

 

Kokichi is about to explain more when Shuichi suddenly invades his space, tucking some of his hair behind his ear and suddenly Kokichi’s brain is shorting out-

 

Shuichi doesn’t seem to mind though, not when he’s cupping his cheek with an intense expression-

 

“Look, I really want to get some practice in too. I just want there to be no distractions.”

 

Kokichi can’t help but feel this is all too intimate, his heart pounding in his chest as his brain is yelling at him to abort mission-

 

“Fine, I get it. I’ll finish, just don’t bother me, ok?”

 

Shuichi laughs a bit at that and nods, taking out a book to read while he works. It really doesn’t take Kokichi long to finish. They compare answers briefly and Kokichi decides to tease him once more-

 

“Shuichi has such girly handwriting!” he teases, already bracing himself for Shuichi’s critique of his own chicken scratch.

 

Shuichi laughs, “Yeah, I actually sort of hate it. I want it to be neat but everyone always thinks it comes out looking girly.”

 

Kokichi pouts, “It looks nice though. Mine is a nightmare.”

 

The detective laughs harder at that statement before smiling brightly at him, “Sure it’s a bit messy, but I always thought it suited you. It’s got a really cool slant that’s really stylish, and they say people who are incredibly intelligent or have lots of ideas tend to have messy handwriting.”

 

Kokichi loves and hates all the compliments and shoves his homework into his bag, wondering when Shuichi became so astute about his person. The supreme leader is startled when he finds Shuichi already so close to him, he had nearly forgotten his whole promise about practicing after homework.

 

Again, Shuichi does a similar set up from before, he plays with his hair before tucking it behind his ear and gently rubs a thumb across his cheek. Shuichi’s amber eyes are smoldering-

 

“Tell me again about french kissing.” Shuichi softly asks, and Kokichi can’t possibly refuse that order.

 

“Well, french kissing can be tough. Not everyone is good at it. You also sort of have to have a preference for it.”

 

Shuichi is nodding, maintaining a scary amount of eye contact that’s making Kokichi think he’s been found out. It only makes him more nervous-

 

“I… I don’t really know how to explain it. Just, don’t be forceful, and don’t be repetitive.” he finishes, and his stomach is starting to flip in anticipation.

 

He looks up at Shuichi, still nervous since even he’s not confident with this type of kiss. He hopes that he doesn’t gross him out, regardless Kokichi dives in to begin anyways.

 

Gentle, warm presses of their lips are easy to fall into. He starts sucking on Shuichi’s lower lip and nipping so he can get access. Shuichi parts his lips and soon Kokichi is able to abashedly slide his tongue in, making absolute sure to go slow. Shuichi’s mouth is even hotter and wetter than he anticipated, and soon their tongues meet.

 

It’s a bit of a strange sensation, the papillae on their tongues sliding across each other, providing a unique texture, unlike anything he’s ever licked. Shuichi’s mouth is still utterly addictive, and their tongues glide across each other in a way that makes him never want to breathe.

 

Their tongues are gentle with each other, and he even wants to giggle at how they take turns pushing and pulling. Shuichi has managed to turn the tides, now dominating his mouth and even going as far as to swipe at his gums and cheeks.

 

Kokichi starts to feel his dick twitch in his pants and immediately **_aborts the mission-_ **

 

He shoves Shuichi away, gasping for air and turning his hips so his slight boner isn’t obvious. He’s forcing himself to imagine gross things like Miu’s pathetic attempts at seduction and how Gonta would look in a banana hammock-

 

Shuichi looks concerned, “Is everything alright-”

 

Kokichi tries to put on his best disgusted face, “Ugh. Sorry. French kissing is seriously one of my least favorite kisses.”

 

It’s not a complete lie, he really doesn’t care for that kind of kiss. It’s much too intimate and it always leaves him messy after, so really the only thing that can redeem it is if he really likes the person who he’s doing it with. He hates that he has to ignore the way Shuichi seems to take it to heart, clasping his hands together like he’s trying to sum up the courage to apologize. Still, Kokichi doesn’t dare say anything, he can’t let this get out, even if it means hurting Shuichi a bit since it’ll be worth it in the long run.

 

They sit in a bit of an awkward silence before Kokichi sighs, leaning over to give Shuichi a soft peck, that just barely catches the corner of his mouth-

 

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have been so forceful with the push. Really though, you’re fine.” Kokichi keeps it short and sweet and soft, he’ll comfort Shuichi but he needs to stay focused.

 

“No, It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have made you do something you were uncomfortable with. You...Next time you can say no to me Ouma, I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

 

He cringes a bit at Shuichi resorting to use his last name, like they suddenly have to be extra formal with each other. Still, he can’t possibly say anything more than this.

 

The awkward silence eventually dissipates, as they lean into each other in the small room.

 

***

 

It isn’t until their tenth makeout session that Shuichi finally pulls away-

 

“I think...I’m ready now.”

 

Kokichi doesn’t open his eyes for a moment, still trying to savor the feeling of Shuichi against his lips. He wishes he could hold onto this feeling just a little bit longer-

 

“I’m...I’m going to ask her out tomorrow.”

 

He opens his eyes and sees Shuichi, looking more determined than ever. He’s confident and stunning, and now he has actual experience he’s probably going to sweep that girl off her feet. Kokichi smiles, ignoring how his eyes burn at no longer being needed anymore-

 

“Good luck! Don’t fuck it up, okay virgin?” he tries to lamely tease, but it just doesn’t come out right that day.

 

Shuichi asks her out on Tuesday. By Wednesday morning he’s coming into class, with the biggest smile he’s ever seen on his face and a gaze that is a million miles away. Kokichi giggles, “Looks like it all worked out, huh?”

 

Shuichi nods vigorously, bowing slightly to him, “Ah, yes, thankfully it did. It’s thanks to you that-”

 

Kokichi brushes it off, “Stop thanking me. It’s weird. Now get up and go brag to Kaito!”

 

Shuichi nods, and soon the whole class is interested in this mystery girl that Shuichi has fallen in love with. Kokichi is glad that no one pays him any mind as he excuses himself to the bathroom. He cries for a bit, quietly so that no one can even tell he’s in the restroom. But once he regains himself he is able to put on his usual happy-go-lucky facade.  
  
Shuichi gets busier because of his girlfriend, but he’s still really good about hanging out with his friends. It’s adorable really, how he is so considerate of all his classmates.

 

He even offers to take Kokichi out, “It’ll be my treat Ouma.”

 

Again, with the Ouma. It makes him want to yell but he keeps his cool, “Sorry, I’ve already got plans for Saturday, and I already know you spend Sundays with your girl so I think we’ll just have to do it another time.”

 

Shuichi nods, “Oh, okay then.”

 

It’s sort of annoying how much Shuichi pesters him for them to hang out, and it’s even more grating for him to have to come up with so many lies just so he isn’t forced to be alone with the other boy. Kokichi wonders why he ever thought this was a good idea-

 

 _Because now when he’s feeling lonely or wanting another one of those gentle and utterly sweet kisses,_ **_he can’t just ask for them._ **

  
He’s stuck laying in bed, hugging a pillow and waiting to fall asleep. Even when he pathetically tries to pretend the pillow is his classmate it’s just such a bad lie he can barely stomach it. It’s useless though, since he still puckers his lips and presses them to the cool fabric. He tries and tries, and the more he attempts it the more he _hates_ himself.

 

The supreme leader succumbs to kissing his hand; at least this way it’s soft and warm and actually feels like skin against his lips. He screws his eyes shut and really _really tries to imagine that he’s kissing the detective again._

 

It’s silly, but he manages to at least get a little bit of relief from it. He’s able to at least trick himself into enjoying it, cause it’s as close as he’s ever going to get.

 

***

 

It’s the first week of February and it happens faster than Kokichi can even see it coming-

 

Shuichi looks a bit muted today, but otherwise, it starts off the same. They sit in class, Shuichi answers some questions when called on. The class is excused for lunch and Kokichi rushes over to his usual spot by the gum tree (not a Eucalyptus, he literally stuck his flavorless, over-chewed gum on it at least once a week). He opens his shitty convenience store lunch and doesn’t realize that Shuichi has followed him out here.

 

The detective smiles at him when, “Hey Kokichi, I still haven’t taken you out to dinner yet.”

 

“Yeah, but I have chess club on Saturdays and you are busy Sunda-” Kokichi doesn’t even bat an eye at his regular lie.

 

Shuichi’s smile falters.  “I’m not busy Sundays anymore.”

 

It takes a minute to realize what exactly Shuichi is trying to say and he really doesn’t know how to respond. Shuichi sits by him for a bit, trying to smile and brush it off but he can’t quite make his face make the right expression. Kokichi still internally panics, not really sure if he can ask for more details or if he should attempt to console him.

 

Shuichi suddenly frowns, and his eyes start getting glassy with fat tears-

 

“Oh… We’ll definitely go out then. Uhhh…” Kokichi struggles to find the right thing to say-

 

Shuichi wipes his face and Kokichi decides _maybe a hug would be okay?_

 

The petite boy wraps his arms around his sad friend, his mind trying to find a way to fix this and his heart hurting in empathy, “Don’t do that… It’s… You’re…”

 

Shuichi hugs him back, hiding his face in Kokichi's scarf and trying his best to stop his tears. Kokichi really wonders what kind of person would even have the gall to dump Shuichi. He’s precious and perfect and so adorable-

 

Kokichi almost wants to scream in a flurry of anger, the damned bitch probably doesn’t know what she just fucking passed up. He can’t help but do what he does best-

 

“She doesn’t deserve you Shuichi, so don’t cry over her. She’s probably some worthless little pleb whose ego got way too big when she started dating you. Honestly, she’s the biggest idiot in the world.” He wishes he could really trash talk the bitch some more but he knows Shuichi would take it the wrong way (and may even start defending her).

 

Shuichi sniffles and shakes his head, “No...I’m just not good enough. She even admitted that I was a good kisser but she said...She said we had no connection.”

 

Kokichi huffs and pouts, “Well, yeah. You’d have to stoop down to her level since there was no way in hell she would be able to come up to yours. It just wasn’t meant to be.”

 

Shuichi seems to cry more at that and Kokichi wants to destroy the female who dared to hurt Shuichi Saihara. Unfortunately, he has morals and an ethic code that doesn’t allow for murder, so he’s stuck trying (and failing) to comfort the detective. Kokichi frowns. _People eat food to feel better, right?_

 

He tries to feed Shuichi one of the rice balls in his lunch and while the sad boy eats it, it doesn’t really change his mood. Kokichi continues trying to feed him more and more and Shuichi eventually stops accepting the food.

 

It sort of helped, since it’s gotten him quieter but the heartbroken boy still has stray tears running down his face.

 

Kokichi has the great urge to kiss his tears away but he knows that’s dumb. _Fuck, what else can he do to fix this?_

 

“Ok. So, I wasn’t going to tell you this but, the other day I was going to the store and I was trying to be funny. And I was thinking, what would make my mom laugh? Then, it hit me- Why don’t I try and fit into the baby seat on the grocery carts?” Kokichi starts the word vomit, but knows that Shuichi is going to fucking enjoy this dumb as hell story since he knows how it ends.

 

The sad detective is already laughing at the idea of him in a baby seat, and he continues, “My parents and I started dying since I somehow managed to get in. They literally let me sit there the whole time and gave me cookies to eat while we were in the store.”

 

Shuichi is already dying at the story but Kokichi knows he still has more in him-

 

“But at the end when we got all the groceries and it was time to go I found out I couldn’t get out of the damned chair. We tried everything, tried pulling me out, tried squirming out, tries to flip the cart on its side but nooooope! I was totes trapped.”

 

Shuichi is now crying with laughter, “What the actual fuck Kokichi?!”

 

He laughs, a bit embarrassed that someone knows that he’s done something super dumb, but happy that Shuichi is actually smiling and feeling better. “Yeah, I ended up having to get cut out of the shopping cart by the fire department.”

 

Shuichi shakes his head in sheer disbelief, wiping his tears, “Why? Just, why?”  


Kokichi gives him a bright smile, “Cause I’m a little clown, that’s why!”

 

Shuichi calms down finally, Kokichi’s crazy story did wonders for cheering him up.

 

“Thanks Kokichi.”

 

“Oh yeah, and now that you ate my shitty lunch, you owe me a new one!” The tiny leader starts making grabby hands for his lunch. “I know your momma loves to make cute lunches, and I hope she made me those little octopus weiners!”

 

Shuichi laughs and happily shares his food.

***

As time progresses, Kokichi notices a trend.

 

Shuichi Saihara cannot keep a relationship going for more than two weeks. It’s crazy to think; How the adorable, shy, perfect detective can’t seem to go steady with any of the girls he goes out with. It’s like the detective is cursed or something, since every single girl leaves him with tears in his eyes and an aching heart.

 

Kokichi cringes and hugs Shuichi, cursing out all his exes and trying to come up with more ways to comfort his friend. He’s used to this now, comforting Shuichi every time he gets dumped. He knows that Shuichi prefers physical affection over kind words, and that food is the easiest way to calm him down. Shuichi prefers not to talk about the details of his breakups or what could have spurred on a sudden end to his relationships.

 

So really Kokichi knows nothing of why Shuichi seems doomed to fail in love. It’s much too strange to write off as a coincidence though-

 

_There must be something more._

 

Kokichi busies himself with comforting his friend and starts concocting a shitty plan to get to the bottom of this mystery.


	2. Falling Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
> *******  
>  _Breathing you in_  
>  _Your taste is still on my lips_  
>  _I need to feel close_  
>  _Touch fingertips_  
>  *******  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. Sorry this took so long to get out, school and work and life has been really hectic. Honestly, I am not really happy with how this chapter came out but I guess it'll have to do. 
> 
> Also I totally wrote this to two songs- _Like Sugar_ by Matchbox Twenty and _Falling Down_ by Hybrid. (Check them out if you want, they are really good songs tbh and fit for SaiOuma imo ewe)
> 
> Special thanks to megastarstrike and bluecranes for Betaing, I really appreciate it!

 

It’s so easy to get used to kissing him.

  
He was still nervous as hell, his heart thrumming in his chest as his stomach twisted itself over and over again. Shuichi is still new to this whole thing, this being his third session with Kokichi, and he still no idea where to put his hands or if he was even doing anything right. It took him awhile before he even got the head tilting thing right, and Kokichi made sure to tease him everytime he bumped their noses during a makeout session. 

  
But despite all the awkwardness and mistakes, he can’t help but grow addicted. 

  
Shuichi doesn’t know how or why he gets such an intense _reaction_ (and after his first kiss, an intense _anticipation_ ) from kissing. He supposes that’s just how it is, it certainly explains why people make such a big deal about it. He never pegged himself as someone who would be interested in that sort of thing but hey; _You can’t knock it till you try it, right?_ _  
_

  
Again, he manages to finish a kiss, pulling away for air and trying to frantically figure out what to do next. Shuichi tries to think about what Kokichi says is nice, or at least good for beginning kisses. He already did a couple of twists, even if some of them enticed some laughter from the petite evil leader. His mind starts to swirl with what to do next, _maybe he should try pressing a little harder? Or maybe it would be better to just give Kokichi some air-_ _  
_

 

  
“You don’t have to think so much you know.” Kokichi softly reminds him, peering up with those large violet eyes. 

 

  
Somehow he feels like Kokichi has stolen his breath with such an easy statement. His friend gingerly grabs his hand, the warmth of his small and slender fingers seeping into his and making his stomach twist violently again. It’s always like this when they start kissing, he just gets so wound up but for some reason, and usually he would be against feeling such anxiousness… But instead, he finds that _he **likes the feeling**_.The smaller teen begins to giggle, most likely at the (stupid) expression he is making, and his smile is mischievous-

  
  
“I know you get stuck in your head sometimes, but you don’t have to worry so much. Just follow my lead and you’ll figure it out in no time.” 

  
Shuichi was well aware of his problem with overthinking. He couldn’t help it though, he wanted to make sure he was doing good and doing everything correctly. He didn’t want to ruin the experience for his partner, and that meant that he had to plan in advance. 

  
He sighs, already knowing that this was his classmate’s way of reassuring him, “I know. I just am really trying hard to not be bad. I hate messing things up, so I need to plan-” 

  
Kokichi makes a gagging noise, “ _Planning_ ? You want to plan out a _kiss_ ? That’s just plain dumb.” 

  
Shuichi immediately droops at the comment, _there was no other way he could_ \- 

  
“Look Shuichi, you need to learn what kinds of actions you can take, but you can’t just arrange them in advance and just expect it to make it good.” Kokichi closes his eyes, his lips pursing in deep thought. “Part of the intrigue of a kiss is that it’s unexpected...unpredictable even.” 

  
The detective stays quiet, not really knowing if he can even say anything since he knows nothing about this stuff. Kokichi suddenly perks up from his deep thought, invading his space as his eyes seem to haze over with something he can’t quite read- 

  
“Sure there may be types of kisses you like and tend to use often, but it’s exciting to just be caught in all the feeling of it.” 

  
Kokichi is practically in his lap, so close that his warm breath rolls across his jawline and instantly gives him goosebumps. “Not knowing what’s coming next is how to make your kisses have an impact.” 

  
Shuichi can feel his heart pound harder at the sudden change of pace, and Kokichi ends up catching the corner of his lips as he leans just a bit forward before pulling away and staring at him. The taller boy is surprised that he didn’t just dive right in after all that build-up, but he should have suspected it since Kokichi is always so unpredictable. 

  
The detective lets out the breath he wasn’t aware that he was holding, it makes him antsy though, he really really wanted a proper kiss. 

  
It clicks in his head, _anticipation is going to be what makes the impact._

  
Kokichi simply smiles at seeing Shuichi’s epiphany, “See? It’s really better to be a tease than to plan everything out.” His violet eyes only darken into indigo as he breathily continues, “Now show me what you’ve got.” 

 

*******

  
Shuichi doesn’t hold back with their practice sessions. He needs to get good at kissing anyways if he wants any chance of impressing Yukiko. 

  
Kokichi is a damn good teacher though, he never fails to catch his attention and keep it on anything but the two of them. 

  
The supreme leader starts them off this time, pulling Shuichi down to his level to meet his lips. He’s instantly giving him butterflies and a spike in his heart rate. Kokichi laughs into the kiss, which muffles the mirthful sound but he doesn’t let up. Shuichi twists, making sure to move his lips against Kokichi’s as smoothly as possible. 

  
They hear a knock at the door and a low voice from behind the wood. “Hey, dinner’s ready! Come down you two.” 

  
Kokichi seems to jump back three feet at the sound of his brother’s voice as if he had been caught doing something awful. (A stab of pain instantly blooms in Shuichi’s chest at seeing Kokichi so afraid and startled. He never shows this kind of guilt or trepidation in any of his mean pranks or when he takes a joke too far, so for him to react so negatively only shows how much this upsets him. _Shuichi hates that he understands that need to recoil._ ) 

  
Kokichi straightens himself, calling back with just a hint of unease, “Coming!” 

  
The tiny leader goes to the door once he is presentable, not even looking back at his friend as he heads out of the room. Shuichi follows Kokichi to his dining room, sort of annoyed at how dismissive Kokichi is being. The detective eats slowly, only participating in the small talk that Kokichi’s parents direct towards him. 

  
Kokichi finishes his food rather quickly, his eyes glittering with excitement, “Hey moooooom! Can I please please please eat a creamsicle tonight?” 

  
She sighs, “Kokichi, you’re going to get cavities if you keep eating a creamsicle every night.” 

  
“Well I wouldn’t eat them if you didn’t buy them!” he pouts, but his mother simply sighs- 

  
“There really is no winning with you, is there?” 

  
Kokichi giggles, “I can be the only winner here.” 

  
The petite dictator-in-training goes off to the fridge, easily pulling out a pristine and unopened box of creamsicles. “Hey Shuichi, want one?” Kokichi doesn’t even spare him a glance as he breaks apart the connected popsicles. 

  
Shuichi figures one can’t be too bad, “Sure, I’ll try one.” 

  
Kokichi stares at the box in confusion, “Hey, I think I got the wrong ones...So do you have a preference for cherry, orange, or grape?” 

  
Shuichi was well aware of Kokichi’s two favorite flavors being grape and orange, so he takes the leftovers. “Cherry, please.” 

  
Kokichi breaks it off and hands it over before licking his lips and eagerly ripping the packaging to get to his popsicle. The action immediately draws Shuichi’s eyes to Kokichi’s lips again. He watches as Kokichi gives the icy treat a couple of licks before parting his lips to take the whole thing in his mouth-

 

For some reason he feels his dick twitch and immediately shoves the brim of his hat down, desperately trying to smother those thoughts-

 

( _That was disgusting, why would you even get so excited by that? Boy are supposed to like girls, not other boys. Yukiko is pretty, Shuichi should be imagining himself with her._ ) 

  
He gets up from the table pulling out his phone, wanting to be alone for a while. 

  
“Hey Kokichi, um, my mom said I need to go home actually.” 

  
Kokichi stops sucking on the treat and gives him a strange look, “Uhm… Didn’t you say that it was okay for you to-” 

  
Shuichi knows exactly how to outbluff the master liar, allowing for a couple tears to spring to his eyes, “Something happened to my dad, and I’m worried.” 

  
The Ultimate Supreme Leader nods, easily taking the bait and no longer questioning the lie. He feels bad for lying to his dear friend, but _he absolutely needs to be alone ****right now._

  
Kokichi’s parents offer to take him to his home but he politely refuses their offer, “The bus is coming in five minutes anyway, and I would hate to inconvenience you any more than I already have.” 

 

Kokichi is there at the door with him, frowning still.

  
Shuichi tries not to stare anymore. ( _Just be normal. You shouldn’t be thinking about another boy like that._ )

  
“Get home safe, ok Shuichi?” he starts, quieter than he’s ever heard Kokichi. It’s almost like he’s afraid of something. ( _Almost like he blames himself for my disgusting reaction._ )

 

“And text me when you get home, please?” Shuichi almost thinks he senses a bit of sadness in his tone.

  
What was he saying, Shuichi knew he must have been upsetting Kokichi, the boy has never said please in his entire life. But _he had to get_ **_away_ ** -

  
  
“Yeah.” he lamely promises. He’ll text him when he gets to the park.

  
  
Shuichi doesn’t look back as he exits the home.

 

*******

 

It takes him a fair amount of time before he is able to work up the nerve to practice again.

 

But if there is one thing he has learned it is that the supreme leader has got really alluring lips. Even when he was at home, mad at himself for being so dumb and letting himself get too caught up in bad thoughts. He couldn’t help but think about those pretty lips though. (Shuichi might have even dreamt about tasting them again, so soft and lovely and sweet that it made him work up the courage to go back to the supreme leader. **_He made sure to discipline himself though, so he wouldn’t ever let himself slip up like last time._ ** )

 

Kokichi’s lips are luscious and supple, to the point where he can barely keep himself from kissing Kokichi when they step into his home. It doesn’t help that they also are the prettiest pink he’s ever seen, that color only seems to grow more enticing with each kiss they share. Even the shape and fullness of them are perfect, they are definitely one of Kokichi’s most attractive features.

  
Shuichi pulls away briefly to catch his breath before diving in again, unable to suppress the shiver that makes his senses flare. He savors the way they fit their lips together, how warm Kokichi feels in his grasp. The supreme leader’s lips are always so soft, to the point where they make him want to sink his teeth into them- 

  
_So he does._

  
He sucks on Kokichi’s lower lip, grazing his teeth against the soft flesh. Ever since Kokichi has shown him this type of biting-kiss he can’t get enough of it. It’s hot and amazing and so utterly enchanting. Shuichi can taste so much on his lips, he can even catch a hint of the sugary sweet Panta that the supreme leader chugged earlier. It’s just a shame that he can’t go chasing that sugary sweetness since he is painfully aware that Kokichi seems to hate French kisses.

 

( _He may or may not have grown fond of the saccharine grape soft-drink, buying a can just so he can have a sip and then throw the rest away. Shuichi loves to catch only a hint of it, only enough sugar to give him a slight aftertaste that sticks to the roof of his mouth._ **_Just enough to remind him of Kokichi’s kisses_ ** _._ ) 

  
He hates having to pull away, and tries to hold the other boy’s lip for as long as possible with his teeth- 

  
Kokichi recovers from their little session and frowns, “Ok, so you have more or less the technique down. Now you have to work on setting the mood.” 

  
Shuichi simply listens as Kokichi looks up at him, staring at that pretty mouth of his to chatter some sort of advice away. His eyes can’t help but linger on the way his lips move, the color, and he’s already aching for more- 

  
“Are you even listening to me?” Kokichi pouts adorably and Shuichi blushes, shoving down his urges so that he can actually pay attention to what he asked for. 

 

( _He really should stop doing this. It was a bad bad bad idea, especially with how lovely these kisses are getting. If he keeps this up he might not ever want to stop-_ )

 

“Shuichi?” Kokichi actually reaches out to touch the detective before him, pulling him from that line of thought.

 

Shuichi tries his best to smile but as far as he can tell, he isn’t going to be enjoying this anymore. ( _Not that he should have been enjoying it before. He wasn’t, obviously. Kokichi was just a good teacher, that’s all._ )

 

Kokichi seems to pick up on the bad vibes and sighs. “Did you wanna stop for today?”

 

Shuichi gets a bit tongue-tied, he wants to say no but _he knows he shouldn’t_ -

 

Kokichi doesn’t wait for an answer before he pulls him into a hug. It’s adorable when the petite supreme leader tries to wrap his arms around him and bring him down into his lap. Shuichi relaxes into the embrace, somehow managing to lean back onto his chest. He flushes as he feels Kokichi begin to kiss him in friendly ways-

 

On his forehead, on his cheeks, right by his ahoge. It’s funny, since Ouma seems to just know how to cheer him up. He ignores the way his heart does a strange thing in his chest when Kokichi manages to work his way down to his chest. His face feels hot and he wonders if maybe he needs to get some space.

 

“I hope you feel better.” Kokichi sincerely admits.

 

Shuichi opens his eyes and looks up at the boy above him. His heart starts to do that strange thing again. ( _Was it fluttering? He wasn’t sure, it felt like too fast, like he’s having mini heart palpitations.)_

 

“I do, actually.” Shuichi shyly admits.

 

Kokichi beams brightly, in such a way it makes him feel like the prankster is brighter than all the stars in the sky.

 

Shuichi can’t help but smile back.

 

( _Maybe this wasn’t so bad. If Kokichi kept smiling like that at him, there was no way that this feeling could be anything but good._ )

 

Kokichi giggles, his lilac eyes full of mirth. “Aww, don’t tell me you’re falling for me already!”

 

“Yeah, right.” he instantly dismisses Kokichi’s teasing.

 

( _Yet he can’t stop the hopeful feeling that fills his chest at the thought of this never ending._ )

 

*******

 

It isn’t until he’s at home that he has to face the reality of his situation.

 

He wakes up in the middle of the night, groggy and with a boner. Shuichi tries to turn onto his side, hoping that it’ll go away on it’s own. He waits for a couple of minutes, ignoring the need in his thin pajama pants-

 

But alas it is to no avail.

 

Shuichi feels sick, but he can’t help but want to pulls up the covers completely over himself and finding relief in the darkness.

 

He knows it is wrong and that it is an awful idea-

 

_But he will allow himself to indulge just this once._

 

Shuichi closes his eyes and imagines the face of the Ultimate Supreme Leader, smirking up at him with bright violet eyes that glitter with mischief. He imagines Kokichi getting into his lap once more, moving into his personal space and making him squirm with anticipation. As usual the petite leader loves to tease him, only moving in close enough to linger just over his lips.

 

Shuichi feels his manhood throb in his pajama pants, and grimaces.

 

He can see Kokichi licking those dangerous lips of his, feel his warm breath rolling off his face. Shuichi can’t stop the heat welling up inside him, and he aches to find relief. He’s harder than he’s ever been in his life and he can feel his heart pounding in his chest.

 

His imaginary Kokichi simply giggles, but it comes out thick and sexually charged, “I know what you _want_.”

 

He pretends that the hand that dips into his pants and curls around his member isn’t his _but Kokichi’s_ -

 

It doesn’t take long to finish, and he hates that Kokichi has this effect on him. Shuichi is ashamed, and feels awfully dirty for doing something so gross. If Kokichi were to ever find out he would probably be so thoroughly revolted that he would avoid him at all costs-

 

A dull ache enters his chest, at the thought of Kokichi leaving.  


( _Shuichi knows if he were to share these strange desires he would most certainly lose him._ )

 

( ** _He decides that it’s finally time to ask Yukiko out, he’ll end the kissing practice and be done with all this. It was for the best anyways._ ** )

 

*******

  
Asking Yukiko out is simple enough. Shuichi has been planning this out, knows that he’ll ask her Tuesday evening and he rehearses the words in his head even when he’s got her attention. 

  
She blushes a bit and offers him a soft smile, “Yeah, I don’t mind being your girlfriend.” 

  
He beams and they shyly work up to holding hands that same day. And it’s like all those cheesy romance shows, where the light hits her face just right. It’s really fun, having someone to text you good morning and good night to. ( _He could make this work. He could squash all those other feelings down and find comfort in this._ ) 

  
It’s all falling into place, and by Sunday he has managed to impress her to the point where she asks him for a kiss.  


Shuichi makes sure to gently cradle her face like Kokichi had suggested. He is nervous, a swarm of butterflies in his stomach all fluttering wildly.

 

( _She was pretty. He liked her round face and short dark hair, how she had perfectly alabaster skin and nicely shaped lips. Sure, they weren’t a lovely shade of pink like Kokichi’s, but he could learn to love them. Maybe he was wrong all along, maybe he could find a girl to love and be normal. He just had to find his type.)_

  
Their lips meet briefly and he doesn’t really know how to feel. His initial anxiousness dissolves into something mute. He can tell she is tense under his grasp, completely stiff to the point where even her hands are clenched. He eases up on the kiss, making sure only to give a light press before setting her free. 

  
She smiles at him and holds his arm close. He reciprocates as best he can. 

  
Somehow, this kiss was not as exciting or exhilarating as the kisses he’s had before. 

  
He wonders if this is how his first kiss with Kokichi went. Would the petite boy simply tolerate his awful kisses, and endure for his sake? He feels bad, and immediately makes a mental note that he’ll pick up a gift for Kokichi, in apology for the inconvenience. 

  
Shuichi decides maybe it just wasn’t the right time, maybe he rushed it. So he tries again when they are alone, without anyone to judge them. 

  
The results aren’t any different, he just feels like he’s pressing against her but there isn’t anything else behind it. Each time he kisses Yukiko he still struggles to get that rush from her. ( _He might as well be laying down in his room, kissing his own hand. Even then that might be more exciting than kissing Yukiko._ ) 

  
In fact, Shuichi finds it super easy to end their makeouts. It’s almost a chore kissing her now, despite him still finding her to be physically pretty.

 

( _Then again, he really didn’t like her eyes. They were much too fox-like and the dark brown wasn’t really his thing. And she was much too tall, maybe if she was shorter and had big colored eyes he would be feeling a bit better about the whole thing.)_

  
She dumps him and it hurts, since he knows he failed her.  


He promises that the next girl he likes he’ll do his best to make her happy.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
( _Shuichi is disappointed when kissing her also feels like he’s trying to kiss a dead fish. It’s awful, since he doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong._ )

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


( _Except **he**_ ** _does have an idea_ ** _, but he can’t admit that. He would just have to try a bit harder, and then he’ll be normal again._ )

 

*******

 

Shuichi sees Kokichi at school again, terrorizing Kiibo per usual.

  
  
He sighs and immediately goes to break up the little frenzy. Kokichi beams at him once he’s in sight but refuses to let go of the Ultimate Robot-

  
  
“Kiiiiiboy! I just want to see if your hands really do have that vibrating function!” he yells, making sure to attract as much attention as possible.

  
  
The detective ignores the crude remark and instead focuses on prying them apart, knowing that once Kiibo starts running that Kokichi will quit it. Kiibo gratefully accepts the help and the prankster only whines and yells in exasperation-

  
  
“Geez Shuichi, you really are no fun!” Kokichi pouts and crosses his arms, “You’re so inconsiderate.” 

 

Shuichi already knows that if anything Kokichi was the one being inconsiderate. Poor Kiibo, he wonders how long he had put up with Kokichi’s torment-

 

“But now that you’re here, let’s go find a nice spot to hang out!” Kokichi is already dragging him along, but he allows it. Shuichi was also aware of the direction the supreme leader was taking him-

 

They arrive quickly enough, back at Kokichi’s gumtree. This time the gum on the tree is arranged in the shape of a heart.

 

It’s a nice spot, shady and secluded. Kokichi sits down and leans against the trunk, crossing his legs as he fishes something out of his bag-

 

The mystery item turns out to be just some old playing cards. They are regular poker cards, but all of them are mismatched since Kokichi said he made this deck by stealing a single card from 52 other decks. It was strange, but there were a lot of strange things about the boy.

 

They play randoms card games for awhile, and Shuichi tries not to look at Kokichi too much. The pair is pretty even with their win-loss ratio before Shuichi realizes that Kokichi’s competitive spirit has been stroked. Suddenly, Kokichi is reshuffling the cards, with a determined expression-

 

“Ok, tie-breaker time! And you better give it your all this time!” Kokichi continues to reshuffle the cards, albeit haphazardly.

  
  
Shuichi decides to play along, “Oh yeah? And how are you going to make it worthwhile?”

  
Kokichi’s eyes seem to light up at this. “How about this, if you win, I’ll let you ask me anything and I’ll answer truthfully!”

 

Shuichi laughs, “And if you win?”

 

“Then you have to join my super secret organization and swear your life to me!”

 

The pair immerses themselves in a quick game of Speed. The board is set and they go, each trying to deplete their stack of cards as quickly as possible. Shuichi tries his best to arrange his cards before having to flip from the reset pile, and it seems to be doing wonders for him.

 

Kokichi manages to slips his cards in though, since his hands are quick. The boys have had multiple scuffles in the middle, where their fingertips mash together in a hurried frenzy, hoping that their card was placed down first before their opponent’s.

 

It’s fun, with the adrenaline and the stakes of the game.

 

Shuichi manages to slip in his card first, laughing as Kokichi groans and is forced to retake his card. The other boy still has 3 cards, and the detective only has one left.

 

Shuichi manages to grapple a win.

 

Kokichi is clearly being a sore loser, complaining loudly and trying to be an overall pain in the ass. Shuichi can’t help but laugh at the childish response- it’s just like Kokichi to be this way.

 

Finally he manages to calm the other boy down, who simply crosses his arms and pouts.

  
  
“Fiiiine, ask your dumb question.” Kokichi only continues to childishly pout, keeping his eyes closed as he awaits his answer.

 

Shuichi can’t help but flush at the sight of the boy across from him. He really was too cute, and the way he’s jutting out his lower lip makes him want to bite it.

  
He never takes his eyes off those plump pink lips, “Do you ever miss our kissing practice?”

 

Shuichi regrets those words as soon as he finishes saying them.

 

His golden eyes snap up and he feels a wave of shame wash over his back.

 

Kokichi seems absolutely uncomfortable with the sudden question.

 

There’s a stiffness that enters his shoulders that is palpable, all the while his gorgeous lips pull into a tight line. Kokichi’s violet eyes become guarded and it makes Shuichi’s gut twist itself endlessly, he’s painfully aware that Kokichi doesn’t like this question.

 

“Really? That’s your question? Geeze, talk about a waste.”

 

Shuichi frowns, well aware that Kokichi is stalling. ( _Shuichi is also afraid of the answer, so he doesn’t dare push it along._ )

 

“I already told you- kisses don’t mean anything.”

 

Both his forearms suddenly hurt, a hot burning just beneath his skin. The pain reminds him of when he was a kid and was running too fast outdoors, only to skid both his forearms on concrete and completely rip off most of the delicate skin off of them. They stung and burned, with his warm blood spilling everywhere-

 

Except here, he hadn’t fallen down yet.

 

“Awww, don’t tell me you miss our kissing practice! You don’t need anymore practice, you’re a world renowned lady-killer now.” Kokichi says with a strange inflection that Shuichi doesn’t quite understand. Either way, he doesn’t seem to be too serious when he says it, even going as far as to laugh at the end of it.

 

Shuichi realizes that **_it’s a joke_ ** and he tried to laugh along, but it comes out all strange. It wasn’t supposed to sound all _bitter_.

 

( _Of course Kokichi wasn’t worked up by their kissing practice. How self-absorbed was he?! To hope that someone like Kokichi would get excited kissing another boy, much less someone as boring as himself. Yeah,_ **_right_ ** _._ )

 

Shuichi starts to laugh even louder, so fake and hollow but he can’t stop. “Of course not.”

 

Yet the detective couldn’t deny the sudden ache in his chest. It pulled his heart, so hard that he felt like the poor muscle was barely holding itself together by a few tendrils of muscle, like strings pulled taut to strum like a guitar. The more he thought about Kokichi’s reaction to his question, the tighter it got.

 

( _This was a thousand more times worse than Yukiko. The failure and guilt he felt with her didn’t even compare to this anguish. He wasn’t supposed to get this bad… he shouldn’t have ever hoped for something so foolish.)_

 

Kokichi finally speaks, “Hey… are you-”

 

( _He deserved to be hurt like this, for indulging in a false hope._ )

 

Shuichi leaves without another word, ignoring Kokichi’s yells behind him.

 

He can’t even hear anything around him, not when he feels like ripping his heart out and leaving it on the ground, in the hopes that it’ll make the pain go away.

 

*******

 

The Ultimate Supreme Leader can’t shake off the uneasiness from Friday.

 

Shuichi had gotten much too close to the truth, so he had to lie. It was just how he lived, wrapped in a blanket of lies to keep everyone at arm’s length. Kokichi knew better than to allow himself to be vulnerable, to be weak. ( _Especially since he knows that he’s much too weak for Shuichi already. Kokichi knew that his plan could only work once, and even then it still left him with an ache that can’t be assuaged. It was best to avoid getting confused and filled with a false hope._ )

 

Kokichi hears Kiibo finally return to the lab and puts on a smirk. He managed to get both robo-boy and Miu on Saturday, as his ragtag team of investigators.

 

Well, it was more like he blackmailed Miu to convince Kiibo to help him. It was the same thing, really.

 

Kiibo would be their eyes and ears, watching another one of Shuichi’s dates to help him uncover the mystery of this dating disaster. ( _And hopefully find a solution to the poor detective’s misfortune in the matters of the heart._ )  
  
“Guys, I really do not think this is a good idea.” Kiibo begins to weakly protest, “We really are breaching Shuichi’s right to privacy in his relationships!”

  
  
Miu rolls her eyes. “The little bitch is just gonna get dumped by her in the next week, so it isn’t really that big of a deal.” 

  
  
Kiibo frowns, averting his eyes and adopting a nervous pose. “Still! I think we should just let Shuichi figure out things on his own…”

  
  
Miu ignores him as she starts grabbing cables to hook him up to the monitor in her lab, “Geeze Kiibo, he’s too dimwitted to figure it out! All he has on his mind is about getting some floozy pussy and he can’t even do that.”

  
  
Kiibo blushes at the vulgar comment, grumbling something in a garbled mess. Miu can tell he has something to reply and is trying to hide it-  


“Spit it out already! I’ll never perform maintenance on you ever again if you don’t spill that spicy info!”

  
“Fine, Fine!” Kiibo sighs, “Although I am the Ultimate Robot and am still learning the nuances of human relationships it became abundantly clear to me that Shuichi is…” he starts to press his fingers together, his antenna becoming all wavy with anxiety, “Perhaps fixated on a specific person. This fixation is causing him to be unsuitable for a romantic relationship.” 

  
Miu begins to cackle, “Awww, poor Pooichi is hung up on his first love! What a sappy virgin!” 

  
“Of coooourse he is. Shuichi would totally be naive enough to deny being in love with that nobody chick.” Kokichi murmurs out, facepalming and already trying to figure out a way to get into contact with said nobody girl- 

  
Kiibo frowns, “No, I think he may be actually ‘hung-up’ over Kokichi for some reason.” 

  
Both Kokichi and Miu stare at Kiibo blankly. 

  
Kokichi begins to whip out his crocodile tears, surprised that Kiibo even has the gall to lie to him like that! “That’s the cruelest joke I’ve ever heard, and I’m the Ultimate Evil Supreme Leader!” 

  
Miu can’t even control her laughter-

 

“Seriously?! Is Pooichi getting all strung out over the shouta cuck? Yeah right, we all know he’s only ever been interested in dumb girls like Kaede and that other nobody bitch.”

  
Kokichi even laughs at the absurdity of Kiibo’s claim, well aware that Shuichi isn’t interested in him in anything past being a friend. Kiibo pouts crossing his arms as his antenna gets all bent out of shape. 

  
“I’m serious! I can prove it!” The Ultimate Robot’s eyes begin to glow, and he quickly processes his memory into a physical form-

 

A transcript of his memory begins printing from his mouth, so long that the paper hits the ground and he rips it from his lips. HIs eyes scan the paper, moving impossibly fast before he begins to hand it to Miu-

  
“He mentioned Kokichi specifically during his date exactly 28 times over the span of 3 hours.” The robo-boy proudly informs, most likely as his way of showing off his analytical skills.

  
  
Kokichi cuts in and snatches the transcript before Miu even gets a chance to reach for it, “Hey! What the actual fuck you son of a-”

 

The supreme leader tunes her out and starts reading the transcript with hungry eyes-

  
**_  
_ ** **_5\. Unidentified Female: I ended up going to my family’s ranch last weekend and got to check up on the horses._ **

  
**_6\. Shuichi: Ha ha, actually- I have this friend, his name is_ ** **_Kokichi,_ ** **_and he’s also super into horses, so I know a couple of breeds and such. What kind do you have at the ranch?_ **

 

**_7\. Unidentified Female: We mostly have draft horses for the farm, just a pair of Haflingers since they are small but plenty strong to do work on the land. My father did get an Arabian horse a couple of months ago though._ **  
****

**_  
_ ** **_8\. Shuichi: Wow, an Arabian horse? I’ve always thought that breed was absolutely beautiful._ **

  
**_  
_ ** **_9\. Unidentified Female: Right? Arabian horses are the absolute best._ **

  
**_  
_ ** **_10\. Shuichi: Well,_ ** **_Kokichi’s_ ** **_got me convinced that the Morgan horse is best since it’s so versatile, but that maybe because he’s so short so he would prefer a short horse so he isn’t struggling to get on._ **

  
**_  
_ ** **_11\. Unidentified Female: Ah I see, well he isn’t completely wrong. What kind of horse do you think you would like to see or mount?._ **

  
**_  
_ ** **_12\. Shuichi: Maybe a Quarter horse? I dunno,_ ** **_Kokichi_ ** **_has told me they’re a pretty popular breed for pleasure riding._ **

  
  
Kokichi isn’t impressed, since this is just a silly little talk about horses. Of course he would come up, since he is also a horse enthusiast. He skips some of the other chat and starts skimming over the transcript, mainly focusing on the parts where his name is underlined-

  
**_  
_ ** **_25\. Shuichi: Was that a good movie?_ ** **_Kokichi_ ** **_and I were planning on seeing it sometime._ **

  
**_  
_ ** **_49\. Shuichi: Sorry, I just remembered a time where my friend_ ** **_Kokichi_ ** **_ended up trying to eat a ghost pepper and then promptly crying after._ **

 

**_64\. Shuichi: Can we stop here? I need to pick something up for my friend_ ** **_Kokichi_ ** **_._ **

  
**_78\. Shuichi:_ ** **_Kokichi_ ** **_would totally love something like this._ **

  
  
Honestly it just keeps going and going, with Shuichi inserting Kokichi into every other sentence, about anything he’s ever shown even a slither of interest in.

  
  
It’s silly. Absolutely preposterous. (And if this were Miu or anyone else for the matter, he’d say it’s downright pathetic.) He wasn’t even sure on how to react to this new information-

  
  
Kiibo sighs, “See? It’s awfully strange behavior.”  
 

Kokichi suddenly recalls how strange Shuichi had been acting at his house, during the kissing sessions. Hell, even earlier in the day when they were playing cards and Shuichi was asking some really odd things-

 

_And that’s when all the mystery of Shuichi Saihara’s girl problem finally made sense._

 

Kiibo frowns, awfully concerned about the horrified expression Kokichi was making. It was so unlike him to show such a distraught face, to the point where Kiibo was getting really unnerved. “Hey… What’s wrong?”

 

( _Shuichi thought he was being rejected.)_

 

Kokichi crumbles, “I may have just fucked myself over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments really do mean the world to me, so feel free to leave some down below if you are eager to see more!


	3. My, my, my!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  _***_   
>  _I’ve got my tongue between your teeth_   
>  _Go slow, no no, Go fast_   
>  _You like it just as much as me_
> 
> _Let’s stop running from love_   
>  _Running from love_   
>  _Let’s stop, my baby_
> 
>   _Let’s stop running from us_  
>  _Running from us_  
>  _Let’s stop, my baby_  
>  _***_  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourselves, it's time to finish this.
> 
>  
> 
> (And special shoutout to TheCicada36 for calling Shuichi Sumbass, it was perfect and makes me laugh to this day.)
> 
> ((Main song used to write this chapter: _My My My!_ by _Troye Sivan_. Take a listen to it if you want.))

Kokichi hates the feelings that gather into the pit of his stomach.

 

It’s a sickeningly sweet thing that twists his insides impossibly. It flutters at the thought of golden eyes, at dark hair and a shy smile. He only wishes that he could be there with that boy, stuck somehow in close quarters without anyone to judge them.

 

The name Shuichi Saihara has never failed to make his heart skip a beat.

 

But now, the name Shuichi Saihara is the only one he can even think about.

 

And sure, he always was aware of his feelings, aware that he had a little crush on Shuichi. That was manageable though. Even adding in some self-serving kissing practice was acceptable, and made it so that he always had a little piece to hold onto. _Shuichi would always remember him as his first kiss._

 

He thought he could be content with that. Kokichi sort of was, in a real bittersweet way.

 

Yet life seemed to not be done with him yet. No, life wanted to make him go through shenanigans! The kind you only read in weird fanfictions! Shenanigans that were really dumb and stupid, because somehow in less than 5 minutes of investigating the mystery of Shuichi’s girl problems he became more than just a little infatuated.

 

It seems the lovesickness that Shuichi held towards him wasn’t hard to reciprocate, as every little thing seems to remind him of the detective. Even now, with his mother beside him in the car trying to teach him how to drive he can’t help but have his mind wander-

 

Wasn’t that the store Shuichi always raved about?

_Shuichi said he was planning on getting some new outfit soon. Maybe he still could go with him to try stuff on?_

 

Is a new ramen restaurant opening up at Westfield?

_Hopefully they have good Tonkatsu soup since that is all Shuichi ever orders._

 

Passing through a pothole while his mom scolds him for going too fast?

_Would Shuichi be able to sleep through a pothole if Kokichi was driving?_

  
  
  
  


_..._

  
  
  
  


_He really should drive slower, Shuichi would probably not like his risky, aggressive driving._

 

He pulls into the nearest parking lot despite his mother’s confusion, quickly pulling the gear shift to park the vehicle and lays his head on the steering wheel. He hates this.

He hates driving, he hates that he can’t just go up to Shumai and kiss him. He hates that he was so fucking overwhelmed by all these feelings.

 

His mother sighs but tries her best to comfort her son. “Kokichi, it’s okay if you aren’t feeling like driving today. You did pretty well, but I don’t get why you’re so tense.”

 

He doesn’t even bother responding, his head way too full of Shuichi and his predicament of confessing. Sure, he knows Shuichi liked him with the whole transcript, but he had to go and fuck it up with the whole ‘kissing means nothing’ thing. Ever since then Shuichi has been avoiding him like the plague, so he has essentially ruined any chance he had.

 

“Don’t beat yourself up, ok? I know that it’s stressful starting out, but you’ll get the hang of it with practice.” He feels a gentle hand on his shoulder, that squeezes him in support.

 

For some reason, he finds the misplaced comfort to be more annoying than it should be. “It’s not that mom. I just-” his voice cracks and he can’t stop the tears from falling, “I- Something at- No, it just ... _Ugh_!”

 

Kokichi hates that when it comes to feelings, he’s an absolute disaster.

 

His mother simply waits for him to gather himself. She has always been so patient with him, even with his difficult personality and knack for mischief.

 

“Sorry.” He starts and she simply shakes her head.

 

“There’s no need to apologize dear. I should have noticed you weren’t feeling too well and postponed our little driver's ed.” She turns a bit more to fully face him, “Is there something going on you wanna talk about?”

 

He rubs at his eyes furiously, hating that he can’t do this in private.

 

It’s not that he hated his parents or anything, but he just wasn’t sure how much they would understand. And then there was the fact that he wasn’t even out yet, and whole other issue he wasn’t ready to deal with right now.  
  
But he had to say something, or else his mom would be nosy and try to figure out things on his own. So he does what he does best.

 

He moves into a grey area, not a lie but also not the full truth-

 

“Shuichi and I had a...disagreement and it’s been bothering me.” His mother immediately narrows her eyes at him and he sighs, quick to clarify. “It was a verbal argument, so don’t worry. Honestly, it was so _dumb_ , but he’s been mad at me since.”

 

His mom seems to calm down at that, and folds her hands in her lap. “Well, you already know what I always suggest when things go awry.”

 

“Apologize and try to make amends, yeah yeah- but I can’t figure out how to tell him exactly how I feel. You know I am not good with expressing deep shit.”

 

“Language, young man.” She tries to scold but it comes out more like a reminder than a chide.

 

They sit in a comfortable silence in the car, since Kokichi knew the radio would be distracting if he drove around with it. They both admire the setting sun, as it dips below the horizon in shades of orange and red.

 

“You shouldn’t worry so much about the execution of it. Shuichi is one of your best friends and as far as I can tell, he seems to understand you the most.” The woman tucks some of her dark hair behind her ear, still admiring the sunset as she tries to provide some wisdom.

 

“I think he’ll appreciate the apology, and accept whatever way you decide to express yourself in stride.” She laughs, “Sometimes I think he might even love you.”

 

Kokichi wants to scream but manages to keep it inside.

 

Instead, he does something even worse-

 

In his haste to sit up and deny her observation, he accidentally slams his hands on the steering wheel, specifically over the horn. The sudden blaring horn pierces the empty parking lot and makes the pair jump in their seats. Kokichi has enough sense to pull away from the wheel but alas, it is too late. His mother is dying in the passenger seat and his blush is so bad that he feels like he is burning from the inside out.

 

Kokichi has trouble keeping his own damn story straight, then again that might just be because he isn’t straight at all. “Moooom! No, what- I!”

 

She barely manages to recover from her laughter, offering him a small smile. “Oh right, I’m not supposed to know about that yet!”

 

Kokichi silently curses at the whoever put him into this situation. Still, he can’t help but note that she doesn’t seem too mad. For that matter, she doesn’t seem surprised either.

 

“That’s not important.” She finally composes herself, her violet eyes glittering. “Just tell him what you need to tell him. I’m sure it’ll all work out somehow.”

 

Kokichi nods, he really should give Shumai more credit. It was true, Shuichi was probably one of the only people in school that understood him well enough to warrant the title of best friend. If Shuichi was caught up in the way Kokichi expressed himself, he would never see past the lies, always being kept at arm’s length.

 

The revelation makes him feel dumb, he really should have been able to notice all the signs of Shuichi trying to tell him something important. It was so hard though, being honest. The Supreme Leader’s fear of not living up to expectations seemed to infect all aspects of his life. He would hate for Shuichi to hold this image of him and then reel back in disgust when the reality of it wasn’t as nice.  
  
Then again, Kokichi had never really been a nice person, _so maybe this was something more substantial than just a crush?_

 

His mother’s voice breaks him from his spiraling thoughts. “How about we go and get some dinner, just you and me? You can even pick out where we want to go.”

 

Kokichi nods letting out a held breath and smiling. He could think about all this crap later. Right now, he had to fill his belly with yummy food. “I want Chik-fil-A then!”

 

His mother laughs and they easily switch sides, driving to the restaurant without any more issues.

 

***

 

It takes awhile before Shuichi is comfortable enough to talk to Kokichi again.

 

Initially, he still avoids his friend, trying to not show his face around Kokichi, lest he burst out into tears. Kokichi seems to be aware of this, as he doesn’t push the topic and only graces him with his presence for small periods before running off to bother someone else. Kokichi never forces them to be alone, he always makes sure they don’t take up too much of his time.

It takes awhile, but it seems like things are going back to normal.

  
Yeah, his heart sort of hurts when he’s around the petite Supreme Leader, but they are still friends. Kokichi never tries to hurt his feelings and still makes sure to listen to him. It’s also the texts that completely give him away-

 

 **_Kokichi Ouma♡:_ ** **Hey, wanna hang? If you can’t just let me know and we can do it some other time (March 26, 4:49pm)**

 

 **_Kokichi Ouma♡:_ ** **I totes found this cool restaurant, they have a cool spicy curry challenge that I wanna try! You have to come! (March 31, 4:50am)**

 

 **_Kokichi Ouma to 53rd MEME CLASS OF HOPE:_ ** **The new Avengers movie is premiering this Friday. I already booked 16 seats for us, so meet at the Reader Cinema at 7pm! (April 23, 8:12pm)**

 

Shuichi gets used to the feeling. The pain dwindles down into just a pinprick, getting blood drawn at the clinic is more painful than his unrequited love. Yet everything he thought of Kokichi remains true, he’s still a bit crazy but an absolute joy to be around. It isn’t like the other girls who he just forgets after awhile. He has Kokichi still in his everyday life though, and it’s easy to still care for the petite Supreme Leader.

 

“Hey Shumaiiii, can you help me?” Kokichi randomly one day starts up, nearly running into him.  
  
Shuichi can’t help but notice the small dictator is acting peculiar. Kokichi is wearing a new sweater, which is poofy jet-black material. It looks soft, and judging by how Kokichi is caressing the fabric, he would say it probably feels nice.

Shuichi inquires silently with his eyes, as they narrow in curiosity.

 

Kokichi blinks up at him a few times, holding out his arm and gesturing for the detective to touch. “What material is this?”

 

Shuichi takes a hold of his arm, sliding his fingers against the sleeve. It’s very soft and fairly thick, to the point where Shuichi wonders if Kokichi is overheating in that thing, since there is a bit of a flush on his cheeks. Still, it seems comfortable though, and he doesn’t really get why Kokichi is asking him to do this.

 

“I dunno… Maybe Cashmere?” he quietly comments, unable to break his gaze from the lilac eyes staring up at him.

 

Kokichi begins to giggle in a way that makes Shuichi’s tummy flutter. “No, silly! It’s _boyfriend_ material!”

 

Shuichi is utterly confused at the madness occuring, sort of hating that his feelings for the petite leader seemed to not have fully died yet. Kokichi doesn’t miss a beat, pulling away with a bright smile. “Cmon now, you shouldn’t lollygag too much or else the teacher will mark you tardy Shumaiiii!”

 

It makes him think that his crush might not ever die, which in itself is a horrible horrible thing. He sighs and follows his friend to class, trying not to get too caught up in the strangeness that is Kokichi Ouma. Still, he manages to get to class without too much effort.

And over the next couple of days, Kokichi does this, randomly sprinkling very suggestive comments about how they would be great together, or that Kokichi favors him over everyone else. It’s incredibly strange and Shuichi can tell it’s another one of Ouma’s double meanings, but he isn't sure what it could be. He couldn’t take anything at face value, not when he’s being extra weird.  
  
Then again, the way Ouma has made his heart jump so many times with his comments is also probably not helping him focus on the matter at hand.

 

He thinks that maybe there are some mysteries better left unsolved, and that if he doesn’t react that Ouma will eventually tire with this strange thing.

 

***

 

Angie Yonaga was always listening to Atua’s will, always doing her best to carry out his will as best to her ability.

 

Most of the time he never spoke to her, only invaded her mind when it was time to start crafting another art piece. His holiness was more like a feeling that washed over her, or how her mind and body felt the need to carry out his divine vision as she found another chance at inspiration.

 

 _Today is another wonderful day to be alive_ , she thinks to herself, relishing in another very normal school day. She was oh so grateful to be at Hope’s Peak Academy, and she cared a lot for her classmates, even if she didn’t show it.

 

Even the classmates like Miu and Kokichi that she didn’t interact much with, she knew were lovely to be around since Atua had reassured her that they too were worthy of being appreciated. It made sense anyways, they all were Atua’s children afterall, even if they didn’t know it or acknowledge it.

 

She sees the usual as she walks down the hall, Miu and Kiibo most likely bickering over her need to do ‘upgrades’ on him. Gonta, Ryoma, and Kirumi are consulting Korekiyo for help on their history homework. Amami and Tenko are watching another one of Himiko’s displays of magic. Kaito, Maki and Kaede are happily chatting about whatever is the latest pop culture news. It was also funny to see Tsumugi hunched over another manga, completely ignoring Miu and Kiibo since it was clear that she had no intent on joining in on their bickering.

 

And finally, there was Kokichi and Shuichi, sort of off to the side and talking quietly among each other.

 

Usually, she wouldn’t give them another glance, but something makes her stop for a bit to listen in-

 

Kokichi gives Shuichi a soft laugh, hiding his smile behind a hand and using the free one to lightly push the detective. “Oh shut up! That so isn’t true.”

 

The tiny gremlin seems to be teasing though, his tone completely full of mirth and playfulness. The way Shuichi smiles back at him is clearly full of joy and something else she can’t quite put her finger on. The artists also takes note that they are standing awfully close to each other, despite having tons of space to be in.

 

Shuichi seems a bit nervous as he begins to speak again, a hand clutching where Kokichi had just moments ago made contact-

 

Yet as she watches the strange Detective and the vicious Supreme Leader, Atua’s voice reaches out to her once more-

 

_A̵͜s̡̡̛͟s͜͟͟͝ų҉̨r̸̸̨̨e͘͢ ̕͠t҉̶̨̧h̶͟a̡̛͡t̡̧ ̵͡t̷̸͟h̴̛͘͢ę̸̛͟ ̸̨̧de̸̵̴̵͢t̨e̛̕ç̡̕t̴͡͠į̸̸̸̶v̶͟e͝͏̴͡ ̵̛̛̕̕a̴̧͟͢n̴̡͟͠d̶͠͝ ̴̕͏̷ţ̕͠͠h̸̸͡e̵͘͝ ̷̡͜͝ş͢u̴p̵̕͜r͘͢͟e̸̷̕͟͏m̵̴̡͡͞e͏̕͜͠ ͟͟͝l̵e̴̛̛ą̴d̶̡͢͠e̴r̵͢͢͟ ̛͘a̡̛r̕̕͞͠e͞͝ ̵̛҉̢m͡e̴̸a̡̛̕͡n̸̷͟t̸̡̨ ͏҉̨t̴̷̵̡҉ơ̸̧͞ ̢̢̢͝b̡͟͞e͘͘͞,̕͘͜ ͘҉̴͘a͏͜s̸̢̛͢͞ ͢͢͠t̴̶̶̢h҉̶͟͡e҉̴į̴͘͜͢r҉̵̛̕ ̷̴҉͡u͏̷̨̢̛n̕͜i͞҉ǫ͘͢͡n̡͞ ҉̸͘͜i̵̴s̡̡͜ ̢̧͢d̵̢͟͢e̴͢͝͞m̧͡͏̶̨ą̡̛͜͠n̛d̴̕͟ȩ̴̢͘d̶̢҉̧̡ ̵̛͡b̷̴̵̢y͏͘͢͢͡ ̛͜t͟͡h͏̛̕e̸̢͜ ̷̵͢͞҉s̴̡̡̛t̡͞͏ar̵̛̛s̕̕͜͡ ̡̡͞͏͏t̵͠҉h̛͠e̕͟͢͠m͘͢͝s͘͠e̡l̷͟v̢͝҉e̸̷̵͞s̴̨̕͜.̢̢͜͡͡_

 

She simply smiles in glee, more than happy to follow Atua’s wisdom. (She also was overjoyed for them, if Atua thought they belonged together than it must be so! How lucky were they to have found each other so early in life.)

 

Unfortunately, she would have to most likely go about this in a roundabout way, since she knew that Ouma was a tricky one to deal with. Even her beloved Atua thought so! Still, she would not be deterred, she simply had to wait and bide her time, she knows that Atua would guide her to the opportunity that she needed.

 

She feels someone tap her on the shoulder and she turns to the source, her ever-present smile growing.

 

“Hey, Angie! I just wanted to let you know I’m throwing a little get together on Saturday and I was wondering if you wanted to come.”

 

Again, Atua seems to always provide her with such great opportunities. Kokichi and Shuichi are both great friends with Rantaro, so it seems very likely that they will both be there.  
  
“Of course I’ll come! Atua has told me it will be a most glorious event.”

 

The adventurer is glad that she is joining, since she has the tendency to flake out. He smiles brightly at her. “Cool. I’ll send you more details later then.”

 

The pieces were all falling into place, and she silently cheers, _Praise Atua!_

 

***

 

Angie wastes no time at the party, immediately greeting Kokichi when he arrives. He is the last one to join the party, so with his arrival, the rest of the group is more eager to bring out games and binge on chips and pizza. Still, she knows there is a divine mission that she must see to the end.

 

She manages to slip past her peers and immediately pull Kokichi into her arms, “Ya ha ha! It’s so nice to see you Kokichi!”

 

The smaller boy is immediately suspicious of her behavior, trying to escape her grasp gently. “Ahhh, Hey Angie. You can let go of me now.”

 

She laughs, dragging him off a bit further away from the group so they don’t attract too much attention. “Nonsense! It’s been much too long since I have hugged you, and I know you will need Atua’s guidance soon enough.”

 

Kokichi sighs not really getting what this is all about. “I think I’ll be fine on my own.”

 

“Are you sure? I don’t think Shuichi is understanding your advances on him.” She holds him tighter and can’t help but feel her smile widen. “He deserves to know the truth. Atua demands that he knows!”

 

Kokichi stiffens, his eyes widening as he stares at her in disbelief. “What? That’s not something Atua gets to decide, ok?”

 

Angie finally lets go of the little menace, clasping her arms as her eyes glimmer in delight. She has to be strong here, she can feel Atua nudging her to continue.

 

“If you won’t tell him, I will. As Atua’s faithful servant, I must carry out his wishes.”

 

Lilac eyes narrow at her, and his tone dips down into something sharp and dangerous. “You wouldn’t.”

 

She is completely unfazed by his threatening tone. Angie knows if anything she is the one with the upper hand here. Still, it is a bit unnerving to see Kokichi look so murderous.

 

Kokichi can only watch as the crazy cultist manages to sit directly next to his beloved detective, cringing as she makes eye contact with him. Her ever present bright smile hid all the madness of her god and held no remorse for when she was going to do.

 

She leans over and starts whispering something to Shuichi, whose golden eyes flick to him. Kokichi can’t handle this. Things were going so well but if Shuichi knew how he felt it would all be ruined. Hell, he may not even have a chance anymore, considering how long he waited but he was hoping to at least be freaking confident enough to tell it to him straight.  

 

He averts his eyes, pretending to down a drink as he feels their gazes burn into him.

 

Kokichi hates not being able to see and he looks back at the pair, hoping they won't be looking at him-

 

His eyes meet golden ones immediately and he aborts the mission once more.

 

Cowardice begins to seep into his thoughts, _if he left now and figured out a way to move schools and change his identity, would he be able to save himself from this social suicide?_

 

Considering Shuichi was a detective, it probably wouldn’t even work, and be more trouble than it was worth.

 

_But he still couldn’t stop himself from stepping out into the night, wandering the streets and away from that situation._

 

Kokichi sighs, rubbing his arms as he aimlessly walks. Thankfully it is dark out, and not many people are out and about to bother him. He can be lost completely in his own thoughts as he hides in the darkness of the night.

 

He sort of regrets hitting the coward button so quick, he hadn’t grabbed his sweater before leaving the party.

 

The night isn’t too cold, but there is certainly a breeze that is gradually chilling Kokichi to the bone. He can’t help but find it nice though. His hands feel a bit numb, but it isn’t unbearable.

 

He finds himself at a random park, and the empty swings call to him.

 

Kokichi easily sits on one before his phone begins buzzing in his pocket. He fishes it out, already knowing what was going to come-

 

 **♡Shumai♡** : **Where are you? I saw you leave and when we all started saying goodbye I noticed you weren’t back**

 

Kokichi sighs and quickly types out a reply-

 

_Me: I got bored so I decided to ditch. I’m at the park by Rantaro’s place._

 

**♡Shumai♡: Is it ok if I go to you?**

 

_Me: Yeah, I’ll be on the swings._

 

Kokichi idly swings back and forth, hearing the rhythmic squeal of the chains against the bots. It’s fun, and he can’t help but go higher and higher. (Kind of like how it’s so easy to love Shuichi.)

 

Thankfully that train of thought is killed since it doesn’t take long for Shuichi to find him.

 

“There you are.” Shuichi gasps out, relief flooding each word to the point where Kokichi feels sort of guilty.

 

“Here I am!” He gleefully exclaims, “Wow wow, I am so impressed that you found me so fast! Good thing I’m not some sort of phantom thief you have to apprehend.”

 

Shuichi tries to laugh at the joke but it comes out as a wheeze. Judging by how he’s hunched over with his hands on his knees, it is safe to assume he made a mad dash to the park. Kokichi slides off the seat of the swing, folding his hands behind his head as he tries to play casual.  

 

“How about we do some stargazing? The sky is pretty clear so we might find some cool stuff.” Kokichi can feel his hands already getting clammy. He can’t help but notice that this is the first time they’ve been alone since the misunderstanding.

 

Shuichi nods, just barely able to catch his breath. “That would be nice.”

 

They go off and find a nice grassy area to admire the stars. It’s calming, and Shuichi even points out the big dipper to him and talks about how Kaito was anal about him knowing the difference between a constellation and an asterisk.

 

Kokichi listens on, loving how happy Shuichi seems when explaining this stuff. It is sort of fascinating, but he doubted it would even be an ounce as exciting coming from Kaito. Then again, it might just be Kokichi’s bias coming in. Shuichi has always been someone interesting to him, he just never thought he’d get invested to the point where he wouldn’t mind just listening to him talk about anything.

 

Shuichi runs out of star facts and the air shifts-

 

“Why’d you leave?”

 

Kokichi blinks in confusion, “Huh?” Kokichi hates that he sounds like a moron. Of course, the most eloquent thing he could come up with is _huh._

 

 _“_ The party.” Shuichi explains, making a clear show of avoiding eye contact. “Why’d you leave the party so soon?”

 

“Uuuuh.” Damn it, why is it now that he can’t talk? It’s like he’s become some caveman that can only speak in dumb noises.

 

Kokichi thinks about Angie and her dumb smile as she spilled his secret to Shuichi. He was probably really confused to see him bolt off. Kokichi braves a glance at him once more, noting that he’s still averting his eyes. It doesn’t seem like a bad sign though.

 

Still, probably best to play it safe. He has no idea what Angie even said.

 

“Got bored. That’s all.”

 

Shuichi rolls his eyes before they finally focus on him once more, with a sharpness that he wasn’t expecting. “Don’t lie. I know you got upset by what Angie was doing.”

 

Just thinking about the bullshit she pulled makes him grit his teeth. He really hates being manipulated, especially in such a dumb way.

 

“Of course I’m gonna get upset! And just a disclaimer, everything she said was a lie, ok? Just, don’t believe her.”

 

Shuichi shakes his head, confusion painting his every feature. “Wait. What?” He rubs at the bridge of his nose, trying to fit all the pieces together, “Kokichi, she didn’t say whatever you’re thinking she said.”

 

Kokichi instantly deflates, not realizing when both of them had sat up to have this little spat. He starts pulling out the grass, enjoying the satisfying snap of the plants from their roots. It’s mainly so that he doesn’t have to feel so powerless.

 

“Then tell me, what was she talking about to you then? Why did you both look at me right after? Seems like a weird thing to do, unless you were gossiping about me.” Kokichi can’t keep the anger out of his voice. He knows Shuichi isn’t at fault but he doesn’t really know what else to do.

 

He has to lash out, and unfortunately, Shuichi is the only one dumb enough to stick around.

 

Shuichi seems to take on the tension as well as his voice tips into frustration. “Ok, we did talk about you. But she was telling me that she knew about how I feel about you.”

 

Kokichi feels dumb now.

 

Of course it would be something like that. It was the perfect plan! He hates that she could do something so devious, and drive the misunderstanding such that it would totally work out in her favor. (Kokichi would have to keep a closer eye on her. She was more dangerous than he initially pegged her.)

 

_But that also means that Shuichi was still very much in the dark about he felt._

 

They share a couple quiet moments together, sitting under the stars as the tension between them begins to dissipate. Kokichi shivers, instantly curling up and rubbing his hands against his arms in hopes that the friction would help him warm up. _Shuichi didn’t follow him out into the cold with the expectation of him confessing._

 

The detective tone shifts to concern, frowning as he starts to unzip his sweater. “Hey, do you wanna take my jacket? You’ve been out here for awhile, so you must be freezing.”

 

Kokichi avoids his gaze, _Shuichi cares about him on a deeper level. Both as a friend and possibly even something more._ The revelation brings him a bit of comfort. _At least this madness was shared and not something he was experiencing alone._

 

“Fuckin Shuichi… Has anyone told you you’re too nice? Seriously, fuck man! Stop. Being. So. Nice.” He almost wants to scream but he also can’t help but fall more and more in love.

 

Shuichi’s confusion at Kokichi response is apparent, as he is unsure if the Supreme Leader is truly mad or if he simply is trying to say something else. Still, he drapes the coat around Kokichi’s shoulders.

 

“I guess? Maybe not as bluntly as you, but I know people like to take advantage sometimes.” Shuichi licks his lips, his eyes wandering as he tries to find a good balance between his need to be affectionate and being supportive. “You don’t ask me for enough help though, even though I’m here for you.”

 

Kokichi wraps himself tightly in the sweater, the warmth seeping into his cold form easily. It’s soft and comfortable, and Shuichi’s scent lingers on it in a maddening way. He can’t help but think this kind of kindness extends past Shuichi’s usual. He hates being cold, and for him to offer a jacket to just a friend seems weird. Isn’t that a cliche too? Where the boy offers a girl his sweater on a cold night. Honestly, it is a dumb thought, but once it enters his mind he can’t stop thinking about it. Hope fills his chest as he hugs himself tighter.

 

 _Shuichi cares. He gives without expecting in return. Even after the rejection he stuck around, meaning this was probably different than all those other girls._ **_Shuichi has confessed to wanting to continue kissing practice again, so why not remind him of that feeling?_ **

 

The multiple epiphanies make his heart swell in a way that makes him feel _brave_.

 

The petite Supreme Leader can barely keep his hands still, trying not to sound too hopeful as he shakily continues. “Hey, Shuichi?”

 

Shuichi simply looks at him, his golden eyes shining with curiosity.

 

“There’s been something I’ve been thinking about a lot.” He can feel his heart pounding in his chest, his brain much too muddled to even form coherent thoughts. So, he can’t catch himself from letting the words slip past his lips-

 

“I’ve been _really_ wanting to kiss you. _Can I kiss you_?”

 

Shuichi’s face goes from curious to surprise instantly. Still, he recovers easily enough, his pink lips already starting to curl upwards as he barely manages to stifle a laugh. Kokichi can already feel the dread setting in, averting his eyes as he grabs a fistful of grass beside him.

 

_God damn it Kokichi, now you’ve really done it. That was probably the dumbest way you could have said that. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb! Just laugh it off and pretend-_

 

He hears a rustle beside him and as soon as he looks up he can see grey flecks in golden eyes, warm, minty breath just barely grazing his lips. Shuichi’s expression is softer than he’s ever seen before. It makes his heart flip a couple of times in his chest, and he is already cursing the blood flowing to his cheeks. Still, Shuichi offers him a sweet smile.

 

“Yeah, I’d like that a lot actually.”

 

Kokichi wonders if this is a dream, wondering if maybe he pinches himself or starts thinking about time or some other bullshit he’ll be pulled from this. Shuichi’s hand easily finds his cheek, and the warmth that radiates from the soft pale skin grounds him in this moment, _grounds him in reality._

 

“And next time, you don’t have to ask.” Shuichi whispers against his lips with a half-lidded gaze.

 

Kokichi’s eyes widen just a fraction, his brain barely has any time to register the last sentence before their lips meet.

 

The smaller teen relishes in that soft but oh so perfect pressure. He hadn’t thought he’d ever get the chance to feel that again, but here he was, sitting in some random park during ungodly hours sharing a kiss with Shuichi Saihara.

 

The detective is so warm and gentle, and a wave of satisfaction washes over his spine. He gets the feeling there probably won’t ever be anyone else that kisses him and makes such an impact on him. It’s crazy, and silly, and so cliche and gross- but he can’t help it.

 

He should have known that when all the love songs made sense and he could sigh like a total lovesick loser that he had it bad.

 

The kiss is simple, but it still takes his breath away. Kokichi can’t help but melt into it, allow himself to be swept away into the warmth and security of it. Shuichi has always had an effect on him, and now is no exception. His chest fills with all the most wonderful things in his world to the point where he isn’t sure he even deserves this. All he knows is that he’s so utterly happy that he gets to feel this boy against him, gets to bathe in his presence and receive his affection.

 

Finally, the moment draws to an end, and Shuichi pulls away. Kokichi instantly misses him, craves for more-

 

Lilac eyes meet golden eyes and the pair can’t help but smile. Shuichi’s cheeks have gotten rosy since the kiss, and it becomes clear that he isn’t the only one who has become so enamored. The Supreme Leader is glad that he wasn’t the only one who enjoyed that, since he is certain he’ll be asking for more. Kokichi barely has anytime to react before Shuichi is on his feet, extending a hand out to him.  
  
“Let’s go home, yeah?”

 

Kokichi dumbly nods and takes his hand, not letting go even when they manage to sneak into his room. Both of them are too lazy to get out of their clothes, instead just squeezing onto his bed and sharing warmth under the mass of blankets Kokichi has amassed.

 

It doesn’t take long for them to fall asleep, easily falling into a tangle of limbs and love.

 

***

 

Kokichi looks at the calendar. It’s been a whole year since their little rendez-vou under the stars. Just thinking about that night makes him feel giddy inside.

 

He honestly didn’t think they’d last this long.

 

Yet it is so easy to say that he is entirely in love with Shuichi. The past year was rough and had ups and downs, but it was an amazing year. Somehow, having the Ultimate Detective by his side makes him feel like he’s got someone who he can’t let get away.

 

Someone who he wants to become a better person for, since Shuichi deserves nothing but the best.

 

“Hey, why are you being all spacey by the calendar?” Shuichi inquires, hugging his boyfriend from behind and kissing his temple.

 

“I was gonna mark the calendar for when we got together, so you don't forget our anniversary.”

 

Shuichi laughs, light and airy, like a wind chime tinkling from a lovely breeze. “How could I forget?”

 

Kokichi marks the 23rd of May and Shuichi’s happy expression drops.

 

“Wait, why are you circling the 23rd?”

 

“Cause that’s when we got together! Don't tell you you fucking forgot!”

 

“But we kissed after the party. Like, waaaay after the party. We got to your place around maybe 3am?” Shuichi explains, nuzzling his tiny lover as he continues to lay down his rationale. “So I always considered the 24th the day we got together.”

 

Kokichi gives him a exasperated look. They lightly bicker for a bit more before Shuichi wins out, only because Ouma’s brother is convinced that Shuichi does have a point.

 

“You were supposed to be on my side bro bro!” Kokichi whines, dramatically falling onto his older brother. The elder laughs and pats his back.

 

“Nah. That’s what you get for eating my boba tea without asking me. Now cmon you two, Mom and Dad already got dinner ready.”

 

Shuichi takes a deep breath, and Kokichi takes his hand, softly speaking up, “Ready to go get my parent’s blessing?”

 

“Stop making it sound like we’re getting married.”

 

Kokichi laughs, “Fine, fine. But don’t worry, we’ll be fine. They really like you already, so I can see them being able to wrap their head around this.”

 

Shuichi nods, a bit of nervousness and seriousness seeping into his voice. “I know. Your parents have always been so kind to me.”

 

Shuichi seems to perk up all of a sudden, leaning down to whisper the words against Kokichi’s lips, “But I’ll fight them if I have to. You mean so much to me that I can’t let you go, not without a fight.”

 

“Don't let me go then.” Kokichi closes the gap and savors the kiss. It seems like it’s never enough for him. At least now he has more than enough time to figure out all this.

 

Tomorrow has never seemed so bright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to start off this end note with a thank you. 
> 
> I never imagined to get the kind of support and love for this fic as I did. I really am truly thankful for all the encouragement. Sorry about it taking so long, but at least it is here now. I honestly feel like this fic has helped me grow as a writer, so I sort of have a special place in my heart for this au. 
> 
> Special thanks to megastarstrike for just being an awesome person in general and super fun to talk to. 
> 
> I hope y'all enjoyed the ending and I hope that y'all continue to check out what other wacky stories I come up with.
> 
> Until next time,  
>  _Zetta_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I still have more planned for this fic but it might take me awhile before I am able to truly get anything up again. (School is absolutely killing me aaaaaa) I hope this is good enough for now though. uvu
> 
> Kudos and Comments really do help me get these out faster, so please leave some if you are interested in seeing more!


End file.
